As part of their Meals Ready to Eat (M.R.E.) menu, the U.S. Military has just released (drumroll) Military Pizza!

military pizza
photo by Kayana Szymczak for The New York Times

American soldiers have long known that you don’t join the military for the chow. M.R.E.s have been around since the 1980’s, but rather than meals ready to eat, they’re commonly known as Meals Refused by Everyone.

According to a recent article in the New York Times, “Now being shipped to military bases around the world, the newest of 24 current M.R.E. options is a humble three-by-five-inch Sicilian-style slice, scattered with melt-proof shreds of mozzarella and pebbles of mild pepperoni, sealed in a dun-colored laminate pouch.” Oh, yum.

And the best part? “To qualify for M.R.E. duty, a food item has to be able to survive years of storage in a dank ship’s hold or a sun-baked shipping container, withstand Arctic freezes and tropical monsoons, stave off assaults by insects, and remain intact through a parachute airdrop or even a free fall from 100 feet.”

A slice of pizza that has to stay fresh for 36 months and then be edible. Be still my heart!

“You have to remember, these were designed to be eaten when you are wet, cold and hungry,” said a spokesman for the Combat Feeding Directorate, David Accetta. “They taste better then.”

Well, military pizza joins the ranks of such culinary delights as Thai chicken and vegetarian tortellini.

Stonewall Kitchen, LLC

Always willing to take one for the team, we want to taste this stuff! Military food scientists have been working on it for years. Really. And soldiers in the field are waiting to get their hands on a slice.

To our brothers and sisters in uniform, we thank you for your service. We pray that you all come home and get a real pizza soon.